Ok. I've been wanting to blog for awhile. So many times I have thought about blogging but I always seem to get sidetracked. But I do love it and I think it's going to help me remember stuff when I'm old AND I've been reading some of my favorite blogs today (while waiting at the doc's office), which always makes me want to blog. I just downloaded the new A.dele cd, everyone is in bed, and I don't have to work tomorrow. Ahhhh, life is good. So I would like to compose some deep, insightful post but instead I'm going to talk about M.elissa E.theridge.
I used to LOVE her. I was in my early teens struggling with the knowledge that girls did something for me when I first heard "C.ome to My Window." There was something about the longing in her voice that I connected with (it was probably the hormones). I'm not sure when I found out she was a l.esbian but I'm sure it sealed the deal. It wasn't long before I had all of her albums, which I listened to OVER and OVER and OVER again. I still LOVE her early music, it still stirs something inside me, and I still identify with it. But back then, I couldn't get enough M.elissa. If I saw her in a magazine or on TV, I was transfixed. She looked like a normal, happy person and everyone KNEW about her and it was all good. Then she got married and had kids....OMG you mean l.esbians can do THAT!!!!?? The only l.esbians I knew of were older, childless, one million percent in the closet, and living with "roommates." In my little world l.esbians were only of the super b.utch variety so I didn't know there was any other kind. And there she was with long hair, a wife (gasp!), kids, and she looked HAPPY.
I remember the first time I saw her in concert, I was fourteen. I was terrified that my dad would find out she was a l.esbian and forbid me from going. But he never did and we went and it was magical. I'm sure the concert was great but I don't remember it, all I remember is the audience. My world opened up that night, there were l.esbians EVERYWHERE, holding hands, kissing, and acting just like "normal" couples. It rocked my world and cemented my love for M.elissa.
I have to admit I haven't loved her last few albums and over the years I have been less and less impressed with her. Meredith was totally disgusted with her when she cheated on T.ammie, no longer a fan. No thank you. I said, "Well, she's a rock star, what do you expect? All you have to do is listen to her albums and it's obvious she is not good at relationships, T.ammie should have known that!" Of course, Mere just looked at me like I had at least 100 heads. But, I have still loved M.elissa a little anyway. Until tonight.
I was playing on my computer and came across an article about the importance of equal marriage rights for EVERYONE. The article went on to discuss the court battle that is ensuing between M.elissa and T.ammie regarding alimony, child support, etc. They weren't legally married so T.ammie is not entitled to alimony, etc. T.ammie had a career that she put on hold to be a full time stay at home mom and wife and now she is left with nothing. It blows my mind. It's cruel. It's wrong. And, ultimately, their kids will suffer for it. It smells an awful lot like the horror stories we all hear about where a bio mom takes away the kids after a split. She is just capitalizing on the fact that the laws aren't there yet, getting the best of both worlds.
I have been the breadwinner of our house for awhile now. I have been free to nourish my career and be the kind of parent I dreamed of being (but never thought possible with a demanding career). I have been able to "have it all," BECAUSE I have a wife who has made her job our kids. I could spend hours writing about the "value" of having a wife who stays at home. It has made things possible for me that I could have never DREAMED of and that will ALWAYS be true (even if Mere runs off with some hot, young thing)!
Sexy is so much more than how you hold a guitar. It taking care of your family and putting your kids first, no matter what the cost. I'm sure M.elissa will be devastated when she hears we are over!