Sunday, September 12, 2010

It's About Time

This has been such a wonderful week. I have relished EVERY minute of it. From late nights with a coughing, crying baby to being thrown up on, to a night in a very NOT private room at the Children's Hospital curled up with a restless 3 year old. I'm serious, it has been totally wonderful. So, before you guys come running over here to make sure I haven't totally lost it, let me explain.

From the start Mere was the apple of Layne's eye. Mere stayed home with her and breast fed exclusively, while I worked 100+ hrs/wk. Not to mention the fact that I became VERY self absorbed....getting caught up in depression, infertility woes, and other stuff that just made me unavailable even when I was home. All of this together meant that Layne has grown up with Mere as her primary care giver. Don't get me wrong, she is very much my child and I LOVE her with everything I have and she loves me. But, we have just never had the same time together that I had with Syd when she was a baby/toddler/preschooler. All of that started to change when I got sick. Layne and I spent hours together reading books, coloring, and hanging out while I kept my post on the couch. I realized during that time how much Layne craved my attention and needed time with me and vice versa. Those long days on the couch really led to some wonderful bonding time and all of a sudden Mere was not the one that Layne ran to when she needed comforting. I LOVE the way our relationship has grown over the last year....it is truly one of the blessings that came out of being sick.

Flash forward to this week. Layne had to have her tonsils/adenoids taken out and tubes in her ears. The ENT doc told us to expect a 2 wk recovery which means no school for Layne. Last year I would have taken off a day from work for the surgery and gone straight to work from the hospital the next morning (if all was ok). Mere wasn't working so she would have been the one at home nursing our little patient back to health. But, it is not last year. THIS year Mere is working and I am on a research month (read...easy month) so I only had to do a little tweaking to arrange a week off from work. So, I was the one who stayed home and took care of Layne, I was the one who slept with her, and I was the one she cuddled up to when she wasn't feeling good. And, I LOVED every minute of it. I really, really did. What a wonderful experience (for me, probably not so much her).

Tomorrow I head back to work and she is going to spend the day with a friend (who will treat her like her own) getting spoiled and loved. I'm bummed because I wish I could take another week off to spend with her. It may seem silly, but I will always remember our time together over the last few days when she really needed her mommy. Of course, the truth is....I need her!