Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Completely, 100% RANDOM post

Ok. I've been wanting to blog for awhile. So many times I have thought about blogging but I always seem to get sidetracked. But I do love it and I think it's going to help me remember stuff when I'm old AND I've been reading some of my favorite blogs today (while waiting at the doc's office), which always makes me want to blog. I just downloaded the new A.dele cd, everyone is in bed, and I don't have to work tomorrow. Ahhhh, life is good. So I would like to compose some deep, insightful post but instead I'm going to talk about M.elissa E.theridge.

I used to LOVE her. I was in my early teens struggling with the knowledge that girls did something for me when I first heard "C.ome to My Window." There was something about the longing in her voice that I connected with (it was probably the hormones). I'm not sure when I found out she was a l.esbian but I'm sure it sealed the deal. It wasn't long before I had all of her albums, which I listened to OVER and OVER and OVER again. I still LOVE her early music, it still stirs something inside me, and I still identify with it. But back then, I couldn't get enough M.elissa. If I saw her in a magazine or on TV, I was transfixed. She looked like a normal, happy person and everyone KNEW about her and it was all good. Then she got married and had kids....OMG you mean l.esbians can do THAT!!!!?? The only l.esbians I knew of were older, childless, one million percent in the closet, and living with "roommates." In my little world l.esbians were only of the super b.utch variety so I didn't know there was any other kind. And there she was with long hair, a wife (gasp!), kids, and she looked HAPPY.

I remember the first time I saw her in concert, I was fourteen. I was terrified that my dad would find out she was a l.esbian and forbid me from going. But he never did and we went and it was magical. I'm sure the concert was great but I don't remember it, all I remember is the audience. My world opened up that night, there were l.esbians EVERYWHERE, holding hands, kissing, and acting just like "normal" couples. It rocked my world and cemented my love for M.elissa.

I have to admit I haven't loved her last few albums and over the years I have been less and less impressed with her. Meredith was totally disgusted with her when she cheated on T.ammie, no longer a fan. No thank you. I said, "Well, she's a rock star, what do you expect? All you have to do is listen to her albums and it's obvious she is not good at relationships, T.ammie should have known that!" Of course, Mere just looked at me like I had at least 100 heads. But, I have still loved M.elissa a little anyway. Until tonight.

I was playing on my computer and came across an article about the importance of equal marriage rights for EVERYONE. The article went on to discuss the court battle that is ensuing between M.elissa and T.ammie regarding alimony, child support, etc. They weren't legally married so T.ammie is not entitled to alimony, etc. T.ammie had a career that she put on hold to be a full time stay at home mom and wife and now she is left with nothing. It blows my mind. It's cruel. It's wrong. And, ultimately, their kids will suffer for it. It smells an awful lot like the horror stories we all hear about where a bio mom takes away the kids after a split. She is just capitalizing on the fact that the laws aren't there yet, getting the best of both worlds.

I have been the breadwinner of our house for awhile now. I have been free to nourish my career and be the kind of parent I dreamed of being (but never thought possible with a demanding career). I have been able to "have it all," BECAUSE I have a wife who has made her job our kids. I could spend hours writing about the "value" of having a wife who stays at home. It has made things possible for me that I could have never DREAMED of and that will ALWAYS be true (even if Mere runs off with some hot, young thing)!

Sexy is so much more than how you hold a guitar. It taking care of your family and putting your kids first, no matter what the cost. I'm sure M.elissa will be devastated when she hears we are over!


Leah said...

I'm over her, too. Time marches on, and her time is long gone. She should retreat. Oh, and repent. That would be good, too.

But oh, the early years. They were so good for her and for us.

Casey said...

I completely agree. I am ashamed of her for fighting against taking care of the kids and Tammi. It's not like she can't afford it. I read Tammi's blog and she is living with a family member in the midwest trying to raise the twins.

A family member. Living with.

I am ashamed of lesbians who cast off their families and never look back. We fight so hard for rights and yet, the first chance we have with "I don't have to because it's not legal." some of us will jump at.

With their relationship and pregnany SO public, I would think that the courts would do the right thing for those kids - and for Tammi.

K J and the kids said...

It's funny. Right after the break up I heard one of her songs on my ipod and forwarded it. I didn't want to listen to her sing.
I guess I lost that connection.
I've tried to remind myself that there are always 2 sides and it's easy to get caught up in one.
I don't listen to her music anymore though. :)

Sarai and Dani said...

Thank you for validating the value of SAHMs. ;-)
Nice to have you back in the blog world!

Anonymous said...

I was a huge fan of Melissa's until her split with Tammie. I listen to her songs lately and frankly have lost respect for her.I stay at home with our kids, we are raising 5 and it's been a challenge at times. Wendy is a teacher and with child support from bio dads we have been able to keep me at home for now.

We now have 2 in college and 3 still at home. I will eventually need to work as child support goes away as the kids age.

It does tear me up when couples split and one of the moms feels she does not need to co parent or pay to help with the kids.

Grow up and accept the responsibility of the kids.