Friday, June 27, 2008

2 posts, one day

I know I just finished a post but there is something else I wanted to talk about but couldn't find a place for it in the last post.

I was sure this was the month. Mere has been tired, moody, and eating beef....none of which is normal for her. She has had a few bouts of nausea. I just knew she was pregnant. Well, aunt flo came this morning to prove me wrong...again. I haven't been getting my hopes up but this time I had. We were supposed to have a baby by now and we don't even have a pregnancy! My patience is really starting to wear thin.

We have started night weaning Layne in hopes that this will help Mere get preggo sooner. My big fear is that she is going to have to stop nursing to get pregnant. I don't want that because they both love their nursing relationship so much. I don't want it to end before they are ready. I feel responsible. If I could have just gotten pregnant (as the original plan called for) then Layne could keep happily nursing and Mere wouldn't have to be back on the 2 wk cycle of hell. Why couldn't I just get pregnant??????

So, here is the latest plan. After I get through with the boards (August 12th), if Mere is not preggo then I am going back to the repo endo doc. Yes, the thought of more IVF makes me want to puke but the desire for a baby is growing. One of us needs to be pregnant dammit!!!! We are not getting any younger. So she has 2 months to get pregnant b/f we start w/ our egg donor (news to her as she reads this blog) on another journey. Dear God, please let Mere get pregnant. Please. Please. Please.

8 comments: said...

so...ummmm...will Mere be your egg donor?

becca austin said...

hey jess... this is becca (from UAMS 5C and quapaw way back when) I told you I would post a comment on your blog letting you know how to get in touch with me and tara and albeit belated, here i am! our family's blog lives at "austinfam dot typepad dot com" or you can email beccacarle at yahoo dot com. I hate the two week cycle hell for you!!! that is not a fun road and just know we are thinking about you guys.

Jen said...

My fingers are crossed and my thoughts are with you.

amy said...

i'm sorry to hear that this cycle didn't work out! i didn't realize you guys were trying, maybe posts that pre-date my finding your blog? good luck with the next one!!! i hope you have a great weekend!

K J and the kids said...

OH MAN !!! I'm sorry !
I believe that whatever happens will be what was meant to happen.
So stupid to say that...especially to someone right in the middle of it. but it really is true.
Egg donor ???

Holcomb.pittman said...

Aww Man! That really sucks. We'll keep you in our thoughts and hope for little feet soon.

tallgirl said...

It sucks when we don't have complete control over our bodies. I will keep my fingers crossed that next month is the month.

I got pregnant with baby p when I was still nursing peanut, but I think i was down to only 3 maybe 4 a day. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

rae said...

i hope that pregnancy lands in your home soon. i don't blame you for not wanting to gear up for IVF again..........BLAH!!!
nothing like a 2 inch needle in your ass for weeks at a time.
i'll be crossing fingers and toes. although, now that i'm in the 9th month of pregnancy i wouldn't wish this on another human being as long as i lived!! *wink*