My wife has turned into a world class blogger. She is ALWAYS blogging. On the other hand, I have been so bad about it lately. I have little blogs in my head but never seem to have the time to sit down and put it together.
I am finishing up a VERY long weekend in Newport. The ER has been trying this weekend. 2 people dead on arrival, one young man in a car accident that will likely leave him paralyzed, and a child in respiratory distress (just to name a few). Everyone always talks about how hard they think Oncology would be, but the truth is people die in all fields of medicine. Man, I need a break. Thank God after tonight, I have 2 weeks of NO MOONLIGHTING!!! I am so excited. I'm also off the 23rd-28th....I mean, OFF, OFF....no fellowship, no ER, no hospitalist. Just me and the family. Oh...heaven.
This week was a tough one. Monday started with our appointment with the RE. We spent about a hour in his office. We had a plan, we were set. He went to talk to the legal department to get the forms we would need for Mere to donate her eggs to me. He comes back into the room and says, "our legal dept says we can't do it." What????? Long story short, the "legal" dept said not to get involved. Some bullshit about us being married in Vermont and that we could move to Vermont and there could be battles over embryo custody. What???? After arguing with our doctor for awhile I asked, "could my sister or a friend donate?" He said, "yes." Ok, so what is the difference here? He had that deer caught in the headlights look about him. He essentially had no idea what he was talking about and he knew it. He kept saying, "I don't care, I don't have any problem with it." Obviously, his "legal dept" does not actually have an attorney because the argument that he was making made no sense at all. He said we could do in vitro w/ Mere or she could donate to me and we could go out of state and they would do the monitoring here. The actual retrieval and transfer would have to be done at another facility. We were both so shocked we just didn't know what to say. He finally said, "I will talk to my partners and see what they say." I haven't heard from him since. And since he is the only partner in his group that will even see same sex couples, I am guessing that the answer will be no. I have called Memphis and Dallas fertility clinics and none will see same sex couples. I have cried, been depressed, and been mad. Mere has been SO supportive. She keeps saying, "we will do anything and everything if you want this." And I do. But, now is just not the time. It was going to be enough to do this locally. I was still nervous about the drugs, nervous about how depressed they make me, nervous about us both being pregnant. But now there is this HUGE roadblock and I'm thinking someone is trying to tell me something. Now is not the time for me. Maybe later, but not now. I am ok with this. Not perfect, not happy, no pretending that it is all peachy. Just ok. Our decision now is to do IVF w/ Mere and if there are extra embryos we will save them and maybe we can transfer to me later. Yes, there are a lot of ifs, I know. This is all that we can do RIGHT NOW. Who knows what the future holds?
One thing this has done....make me wonder what in the hell we are doing living in Arkansas!! We do love it here, this is where our life is, but can we do this forever? Live somewhere where it is ok for us to be discriminated against? I really don't know if I can do it forever. I don't know if I want my kids to do it.
On a happier note, Megan and the twins are here!!!! YEAH!!! I haven't seen them yet (because I at work) but I am so excited. When I talked to Mere earlier I could hear them all in the background and it made me smile. I love a house full of family and kids. I can't wait to get home to them all. Warm fires, cookies, and lots of people for me to cook for. Ahhh....it doesn't get any better.
What are your Christmas plans??