Saturday, March 15, 2008

What a year!

Syd and I were taking a bath today and she said, "so Mommy, how was your work yesterday?" That seems to be the theme of this year. Work, work, and more work. This week alone I have done 2 24 hr shifts, 2 12 hr shifts, and have been in the clinic the rest of the time. I'm thinking that sleep is really not optional. I am not 20 anymore, that is FOR SURE. I'm not sure why I have been working SOOO much. The money is great but now that we aren't doing IVF there is not so much urgency. I miss my family, I miss my sleep, I miss my life. It is time to cut back. After this week I am going to slow down on the ER work. Seriously, I'm starting to look like a ghost. I am going to spend time with my girls and start running again and quit eating so many damn Pringles (I think they put crack in them)! Most importantly, I am going to take some time to process the idea that I might not ever carry a baby. Sometimes you just can't barrel through life. You can't just put things away in little compartments and pretend it is not there anymore. As a good friend of mine put it, "your well is dry." She is right....it is definately time to get the hose.

4 comments:

K J and the kids said...

Welcome you blogger you.
So just to add to the overload you have at work, and motherhood, and wifehood...you are now adding running, eating better and BLOGGING ! :)
Nice !

I'm glad you joined the ranks and can't wait to read all about it.

Rainbow Momma said...

And I'll turn it on for you. Love you.

Clouded Grace said...

Your family is beautiful! So I myself actually AM 20 (almost) and already sleep is not optional for me - you seem like a very busy woman and that seems like the understatement of the year. Get some sleep! I love naps or even meditating if you can find the time :/

My blog is brand new too! My GF encouraged me to get one. Although...she and I don't read one another's for sake of keeping some privacy. Then again you and your wife ARE married and probably share most everything.

Anyway...I look forward to many more of your blogs to come (when you have time) :)

rae said...

hey girl.......just wanted to welcome you to the blog world.
if your desire is to carry a baby inside of you.....there is always donor egg.......it made my miracle happen, sans ovaries.
if your dream is to carry your bio child---don't give up hope yet. i know the angst of wanting to carry my own baby, and i had to let go of the dream of another bio. i get it. i've wanted to send you hugs a million times since your post on mere's blog.
take care,
rae