I've been taking care of him off and on for 2 years. 21 years old, way to young for this. 2 years of intensive chemotherapy for what was supposed to be a "curable" leukemia. He did go into remission but there was no bone marrow donor. Now there is a donor but the leukemia came back so we gave him more chemo and put him back into remission. He was supposed to go to MD Anderson on Wed for his transplant but he got to sick for transplant. No problem, get him over the illness and then transplant him. I was the lucky person who realized it was back again. Sitting with the pathologist, reviewing the slides, questioning "are you sure?" Yes, it is back for the 3rd time. This is it. Nothing left for him.
He is awake and wants to fight. Wants more chemo, more options, but there are not any. He elects for intubation and doing "everything possible," even though we know there is nothing except a miracle. His parents at his bedside and trying to be strong, strong for him, and strong for his brother. They know it is over but they have to respect his wishes.
Now he is intubated, sleeping, dying. They keep a 24 hr bedside vigil just waiting for him to die. They know it is coming, we all do, but when? He has touched us all in so many ways. We are all preoccupied with him, we are all sad, we are all praying. He starts his last ditch line of chemotherapy tonight. It won't work, we know it, but he begged for it. These are his wishes. I hope he stays asleep. He doesn't need to suffer anymore. 21 years old, I don't understand.
He is still here but things are not looking much better.